7 Ways to Increase Your Happiness
With all of the negativity in the world today, it is really hard to find true happiness. But it is still possible.
What I have learned is that happiness is based on the choices we make. In order to know what choices to make for my happiness, I had to learn more about myself. Activities that make other people happy are not necessarily the ones that work for me. I have to find my own path.
What is happiness?
Each person has their own definition of what happiness is to them. What I have learned is that it’s a state of mind. It is a time when a person is free from stress, worries, and concerns and is enjoying their life at the moment.
Many people nowadays blame others for their unhappiness. This is a wrong perception. We each have the power to determine our own happiness by the choices we make. Others cannot change our mood unless we allow them to, nor can we change another person’s mood unless they allow it.
7 Causes of Unhappiness and How to Change Them
We each have control over our own unhappiness. Here are some causes and the techniques to overcome them.
1. Living up to others standards
Do you find yourself comparing what you do or have with others? Social media can be very misleading by letting people think that relationships or finances are really great when they’re really not. Have you had one of your Facebook friends show off their new fancy home only to wish you had one too? You may be living in a smaller or not as fancy of a home, but yours may be paid for. When you really look at their situation realistically, consider all of the larger bills that they have to meet every month. Bills like insurance, taxes, house payment, utilities, and upkeep. What are they having to sacrifice to keep up that image?
So when you find yourself comparing, Stop, Think, and Act. When those comparison thoughts come into your mind, stop and think about what that person’s possible reality truly is. Then you have two choices:
- Be thankful for what you have.
- Save up and purchase something in the future that you can afford.
2. Staying in an abusive or toxic relationship
Have you found yourself getting angry or sad when you are around certain people? There could be several reasons for it. When you find that you are always angry, look at how the person treats you. If they are always hurting your feelings by being emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive toward you, the normal reaction is anger. Actually, the cause of anger is hurt. The choices that you have here are:
- Go to counseling as a couple, if possible.
- Give the person a choice to either treat you the way they should or you stop your relationship with them..
3. Working all of the time
Do you find yourself never having time to relax and enjoy life? You may work shift work, away from home, or long hours each day. Ask yourself why you’re working so much and if it’s worth it. What you can do about it:
- Work up and live by a budget to cut or reallocate your living expenses.
- Find a job with a better work schedule that can support you.
- Schedule and do something fun each time you have off.
4. Staying in a job you don’t like
Ask yourself why you are staying. Is it for the money, the benefits, or the people? Based upon what you answer, you have choices:
- If you haven’t already, work up a budget so that you know what is the least amount you have to earn.
- Take a career assessment if you are not sure what you want.
- Research other jobs to find out the amount of education needed.
- Take another job temporarily, if you can afford it, until you can get the job you want.
5. Making impulsive bad choices
Do you find yourself in one mess after another? Someone presents an idea to you and you get “FOMO”, the fear of missing out, so you agree to it immediately. Or it sounds like it’s a really good deal that you don’t want to pass it up. Then you have to live with your regrets because you’ve already made the commitment. It isn’t easy, but it is a good rule to do the following:
- Before giving an answer, Stop, Think, and Act. Never give an answer immediately. If you’re meant to have or do something, you will be able to later. Make a realistic list of the pros and cons of the choice. Then give your answer. Most of the time it is wise to wait 24 hours before giving your answer.
6. Having poor boundaries
Most of us struggle with this. Boundaries are the way we interact with others. and
- “How I treat you” – Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
- “How I let you treat me” – Do others make you angry with the way they treat you? You have the power to stop it by letting them know how it makes you feel. If they still choose to treat you badly, then you can choose to not interact with them as often or at all.
- “How I treat myself” – Do you take care of you so that you can be happy in your life and relationships? Setting good boundaries is a way to take care of yourself.
7. Not having your priorities in order
Having done research on this topic, I have learned that most of us do not have our priorities in order. If we do, one priority builds upon the other. This leads to happiness in all areas of our lives. These priorities are in the following order:
- Your Relationship with God (if you are a believer)
- Self Care (not selfish) (Physical, Emotional, and Mental)
- Your Marriage or Significant Relationship
- Your Children and Caregiving Responsibilities
- Your Home, Work, and Volunteering
- Your Friendships and Extended Family
In the End
In the end, which are you going to say? “I’m glad I did” or “I wish I would have.” The choice is yours. This life is “the play, not a dress rehearsal”. In other words, we only get one lifetime to be happy. Our choices determine our happiness.
So what choices are you going to make?
Blessings until next time,
Shirley